HOW TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE

Have you ever dressed so good? Like, Vogue front-cover good, and suddenly caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror that it instantly boosted your morale?

I’ve personally had moments like that, and I felt so good about myself that I felt like I could conquer the world.

I could keep describing this feeling, but I’m sure you get the picture now. That feeling is called self-confidence, and when you are feeling self-confident, you most likely love and trust yourself.

Self-confidence is a quality worth possessing. It sets a precedence for how people regard and treat you; that’s why people respect men and women who have a high level of self-confidence. It’s also why people won’t take you seriously if you lack confidence.

Self-confidence is that invisible hand beneath your jaw that holds your head high, and while looking drop-dead gorgeous is one sure way to boost your confidence, it’s not the only way.

In this article, I’ll be sharing a few tips on how to build your self-confidence;

Face Your Fears

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

This question is quite simple but very powerful. If you push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone and try out those things you think would be embarrassing or difficult, you will learn that making little mistakes while trying isn’t as bad as you thought. It will make you realise that those things holding you back taint your self-esteem.

It took me years to start this blog for fear that no one will be interested in reading it. But here I am, doing what I enjoy and watching it grow. The same thing happened when I decided to start my fashion line. I haven’t launched it yet, but I am almost there. I had to face my fears and tell myself, ‘what if I succeed, what if they love it.’

Facing your fears always seems like the hardest part when it comes to building self-confidence. But each time you face those fears, you gain more confidence in your ability to try something new. You may even end up laughing about how trivial those issues causing you to be nervous are. 

Today, I challenge you to do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. If you feel nervous about being in the spotlight, stand up and ask questions, make contributions at public meetings(I still feel nervous doing this, but I make the effort); make yourself the centre of attraction for a while. You can also introduce yourself to someone new; make eye contact when you talk to people. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes when facing your fears. 

Invest in Self-Care

It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you don’t take care of your body, but when you practice self-care, you will begin to value yourself highly. 

Eating healthy, exercising, relaxing, and meditating, are not the exclusive practice of rich or privileged people. If anything, these people strengthen their confidence because of these practices. As one that indulges in these practices, I can tell you that I have experienced a tremendous amount of change in my life. I have to be honest, it hasn’t been easy being consistent(especially with eating healthy), but I’m still pushing because I like the balance it gives me. Taking care of your skin, getting a massage occasionally, travelling for relaxation, e.t.c. are other ways to invest in self care.

By exercising, you reinforce to yourself that you value your body. By resting when you need to, you reinforce the importance of your overall wellbeing, and by meditating, you declutter your mind from negative thoughts that interfere with your self-confidence(very important).

It a good idea to make time for things you genuinely love, rather than things people expect you to do. You will find out that simple things like looking out for yourself will make you feel better and improve your overall outlook. 

Compliment Yourself and Accept Compliments(Self Love)

When people voice out what they like about you, what you are wearing, how you look, or what you do, don’t brush them aside. Accepting compliments is a sign of self-love that allows you to accept another person’s positive perception about you.

Compliments make you feel good and appreciated, whether you are giving it to yourself or receiving it. The most beautiful compliments are the ones you give to yourself. Stare in the mirror and say something nice about your outfit, your looks, or your personality, do this with a smile on your face. I have a Phd in doing this. I stare at myself in the mirror, and sometimes at my pictures and just say, “wow God took His time in creating you, what a queen”. One or two of my friends are rolling their eyes right now, lol, but really you need to learn to love and appreciate yourself.

It’s good to be humble, but complimenting yourself doesn’t make you proud; rather, it makes you see and appreciate the good in yourself. Acknowledge and respond to every compliment you receive with love.

Recondition Your Mind-Set About Life

Generally, I try to stay cheerful, assertive, and positive. I stand up for whatever I believe in, and I say no to whatever I don’t believe in and stick to my principles. Naturally, you become more assertive as you build your confidence.

I don’t let criticism lower my self-esteem; I accept it because I’ve conditioned my mind to understand that people have different opinions and perspectives on things. To me, criticism is just someone’s opinion. However, when criticised, I try not to be on the defensive and check myself to know if there are any adjustments to be made.

The more you challenge your perspective about life, the more joy you find in yourself and your abilities. The truth is you can’t get there in one day, it’s a journey. But you must learn to declutter your mind; unlearn some things and relearn, don’t take things too personal, get used to the fact that people will always be different. Change what you need to change, but never let anyone make you feel less than you are, that you need to do for yourself.

In the end, you have to honour yourself and appreciate your uniqueness. There is only one of you and YOU ARE SPECIAL!!