A Fertility Journey-The Wait, Pain and Joy

Sweet Beginnings

Ese and Dafe were in love. They had been together since their University days. Ese was beautiful, svelte, and fashionable most guys wanted to be with her, Dafe was the lucky man that eventually stole her heart, they were a perfect match. Everyone knew them as the inseparable couple. So when they said they were getting married, their friends and families were excited. It was the next step they were all waiting for, no one could imagine them apart.

They got married in 2010, and had conversations about everything, from where they will live, to the number of kids they would have and their gender— we will have twins, a boy, and a girl and maybe one more. Their desire was to have kids immediately they got married. Ese had taken care of her younger siblings when they were babies, changing their diapers, and washing their clothes, taking care of her children would be easy. Ese was 26 and Dafe 30 when they got married. Marriage for them was beautiful and was going well until towards the end of 2010 they began to get a little worried, the babies weren’t coming, what could be wrong?

Being a health care professional, she decided to carry out some tests on herself. She started with a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test. The result showed that one of her Fallopian tubes was not visible. It was the most painful thing she had ever had to do. But that was just the beginning. Three months later, she did the same test, and this time, the result showed it was normal.

Fertility Journey -Screening and Treatments

Even though the test results showed things were normal, Ese still wasn’t getting pregnant. So in 2012, they decided to see a gynaecologist. He did a comprehensive fertility screening on them and told them Ese had a very good chance of success as she was young. This increased their hopes.

She had her first IVF treatment that same year, they waited expectantly for the results, but unfortunately, it was unsuccessful. She cried uncontrollably. Dafe held her tight, comforting her, We will try again my love, he said. As if things weren’t bad enough, she developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). The whole experience affected her and made her exhausted and withdrawn. But she remained determined to try again.

In 2013, she had her second IVF treatment, but it was unsuccessful. We are not going to let this deter us, Ese said, we will put our trust in God and try again. Dafe nodded in agreement.
All these while, they kept praying to God, holding onto a verse in the bible— Psalm 113vs9 that read He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. They were devout Christians and were involved in the things of God and had faith that things would work out.

A Glimmer of Hope.

In 2014, she had her third IVF treatment, and this time it was successful. Ese beaming with pure joy, dashed to her husband, her smile lighting up her face. “Dafe we are pregnant,” she said, after seeing the test result. She jumped on him and kissed him as he smiled sharing in her excitement. They talked about what to name the baby if it was a boy or a girl. They chatted about parenthood as they drove home, laughing and praising God, their joy knew no bounds.

When the baby was around ten weeks, Ese did a scan and found out the baby’s heart had stopped beating. At first, she was confused, different thoughts running through her mind. She had never imagined that she would have a miscarriage. She was beyond devastated. Mrs. Aigbe, the doctor said, interrupting her thoughts, we will have to take out the baby. She responded by nodding after a few seconds as she couldn’t speak. Her mouth felt heavy- her heart was broken.

As they wheeled her into the theatre, Dafe was there holding her hand. He whispered encouraging words to her as the sedatives kicked in and her eyes closed. Dafe sat at the waiting area trying to hold back tears that welled up in his eyes, thinking about the baby they just lost and hoping his wife will be okay.

Ese woke up after anesthesia, she had just had dilation and curettage (D&C) to remove the baby from her womb and was bleeding. It suddenly dawned on her that she had lost her baby. She wept bitter tears, refusing to be consoled by the nurse who reached out to hold her. She felt emotional and physical pain altogether.

When Life Gives You Lemons…

A few weeks after the surgery, life returned to normal for Ese and Dafe. They talked about their experience and decided to focus on the future. They kept on trusting God and believing that His word was going to become a reality in their lives. Ese returned to her happy self, she visited friends, spent time with family, planned baby showers for friends and gave gifts to them for their babies . Dafe took her out to dinner at exquisite restaurants and surprised her with beautiful gifts. They enjoyed endless laughs together talking about life generally, and watching TV shows. They both spent time developing themselves, taking professional courses to enhance their careers.

It was also going well at work for Ese, she was very focused and productive. She would dress up in fashionable work clothes and cause a stare as she walked down the corridor of her office. Her colleagues always wondered how she did it, keeping happy and light-spirited even with her situation, she would smile and say, it’s by God’s grace. One day an older colleague of hers, Mrs. Adeniyi, called her aside and said she should relax with her shakara, showing off because people will say she doesn’t have a baby and all she knows how to do is look good. It wasn’t the first time Ese would have someone say something hurtful to her regarding her childlessness, but she brushed it off and didn’t allow that deter her from looking good. Sometimes when she saw her monthly period, she cried but never lost hope.

When It Rains, It Pours

Ese began helping five less privileged families that had little children as led by God. She sent them foodstuffs and provisions and regularly checked on them. One day, as she laid in bed, she decided to get more intentional in preparing for her children. She bought a very big cot that could take two babies, painted the room, and hung beautiful curtains. She was so intentional that when the lady at the shop asked her if the cot was for a boy or a girl she told her it was for both— twins, boy, and girl.

In 2016, they decided to do their last IVF, and just as they had hoped, it was successful. We are pregnant, Ese said with excitement as she hugged Dafe. He lifted her and spun her around. Nine months later, Ese gave birth to twins— a boy and a girl. God had given them their desire. Family and friends visited to rejoice with them it was a beautiful season of their lives. They hadn’t finished rejoicing over their twins before Ese got pregnant again. This time without any effort. It was eight months after the twins were born. We are going to have another baby! It was beyond belief, they were amazed.

In 2018, they welcomed their 3rd child. Family and friends came to celebrate with them again in awe of the blessings they had received in such a short time. Wow!, you had three children in two years, some of her friends said. She responded with a smile. It felt like just yesterday we were alone and on an endless fertility journey now look at children running around our house and scattering everywhere, Dafe we are blessed. She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled.

A fertility Journey was inspired by a true story.